The DICTATOR of UNION KINGDOMS is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Joseph Stalin with an even hand, and remarkable for its national health service, pith helmet sales, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 3.749 billion KINGS have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Education, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moscow. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 71.4%.

The frighteningly efficient UNION KINGDOMSian economy, worth 643 trillion Rubles a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 171,679 Rubles, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 538,376 per year while the poor average 41,947, a ratio of 12.8 to 1.

Wealthy parents-to-be can select their perfect baby, possession of tomato seeds with intent to garden is a criminal offence, forty-year-old men are asked for their ID before watching the latest pony cartoon movies, and school cafeterias serve nothing but protein powder and vitamin supplements. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. UNION KINGDOMS's national animal is the Bear and its national religion is Christianity.

UNION KINGDOMS is ranked 14,237^th in the world and 617^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 104 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.